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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27286048">Hers to Keep</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/courtneywoods/pseuds/courtneywoods'>courtneywoods</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pitch Perfect (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>13 Going on 30 AU, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 13 Going On 30 Fusion, Alternate Universe - Future, Angst with a Happy Ending, Complete, Denial of Feelings, Emily is definitely the most fun character to write, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Pitch Perfect 2, This is the most innocent fic I've ever written</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:21:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,236</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27286048</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/courtneywoods/pseuds/courtneywoods</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: Beca and Chloe have been avoiding addressing their feelings for years, until Chloe has a little too much to drink and it all blows up in front of them. When Beca runs to avoid talking about it, she ends up waking up five years in the future in an apartment that isn't quite her own – in a city she has no memory of ever moving to. But will this new future life be the push she needs to finally accept how she feels, or will time only break them apart for good?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chloe Beale &amp; Beca Mitchell, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>110</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/iPhone/gifts">iPhone</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic was inspired by a gifset made by the talented beca-mitchell on Tumblr: https://beca-mitchell.tumblr.com/post/628914008776458240. Highly recommend checking out the gifset! Find me on Twitter @courtneyhope_ or Tumblr @courtneywoods :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It wasn’t that Beca was lying to the Bellas. Or, at least, that’s what she kept telling herself to try and put her looming guilt at ease. Electing to withhold information was different than lying outright – that much she knew. So if she had to continue reminding herself of that, she would.</p>
<p>Sure, the other girls would probably be proud of her accomplishments. I mean, landing an internship at a popular record company was a big deal. She wanted, more than anything, to share this accomplishment with the people who had quickly become her family in just a few short years. But she couldn’t. She just couldn’t.</p>
<p>But when Amy brought up the fact that she’d spotted Beca’s work ID badge in her bag—despite the initial panic she’d felt—maybe part of her was relieved. Secrets were a burden, and it’s not like Amy would rush down the hall to debrief Chloe on Beca’s secret.</p>
<p>“You can’t tell anyone, okay? Amy, I’m serious. The Bellas can’t know.”</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you tell us? Or at least Chloe?”</p>
<p>“Are you kidding me? Chloe would lose her mind if she thought my sole focus wasn’t on winning Worlds. She is the <em>last</em> person who can find out.”</p>
<p>“Right,” Amy winked, “Sure. You and I can both pretend that’s why you haven’t told Chloe.”</p>
<p>Beca sighed, not wanting to press the subject further. Despite her curiosity, she couldn’t care less about what Amy was trying to imply.</p>
<p>“It’s doesn’t matter anyway, because it turns out I’m not good enough to even be a music producer after all.”</p>
<p>“You’re the most talented person I know. You’re Beca effing Mitchell.”</p>
<p>“Thanks,” she sighed with a soft smile that always seemed to sneak out of her when Amy tried to cheer her up. “I just need you to keep this between us, okay? Amy, you have to promise me.”</p>
<p>She did. But Beca knew that wouldn’t last very long. Running her fingers through her hair, Beca let out a soft groan and collapsed back against her pillow as soon as she was alone in the bedroom.</p>
<p>“Let’s go, Aca-bitches!”</p>
<p>The sound echoed down the hall and Beca frowned, wondering why Cynthia Rose was attempting to summon them all. Her legs hit the floor one at a time but it felt like ages before she finally willed herself to lift up off of the bed and drag herself down the stairs.</p>
<p>“You’re not going to the party dressed like that, are you?” Emily frowned, glimpsing down at her own attire and wondering if she was overdressed when she spotted Beca in cropped leggings.</p>
<p>“Oh, right. I completely forgot. You guys go ahead, I have–” Beca paused and glanced at the floor. “–I have, like, a ton of work to catch up on.”</p>
<p>When Beca peered back up, she caught Chloe’s piercing blue eyes and could’ve sworn she saw a hint of disappointment.</p>
<p>“Come on, Beca. You realize you’ve missed like three parties this month?” Stacie’s judgmental tone was something Beca would typically brush off, but she was too distracted by the way she could feel Chloe staring at her.</p>
<p>“Fine,” Beca said flatly. It’s not like she had any real excuse, other than her desire to hide out from the Bellas as much as possible. In her head, it was easier to hide the truth from them if she wasn’t in their presence every free moment of the day. “I’ll go get dressed.”</p>
<p>When she emerged from her bedroom fifteen minutes later, clad in jeans, a black top, and freshly-lined eyes, the rest of the girls were already huddled in a circle and drinking from red Solo cups.</p>
<p>“Getting a head start, I see?”</p>
<p>Chloe tilted her cup back, seemingly downing the contents that remained before she spoke.</p>
<p>“We thought you’d take longer,” she said with a laugh as she practically skipped over to where Beca was standing and dragged her over to the group.</p>
<p>Flo handed her a cup of her own and Beca took a sip, feeling too many eyes on her as she tasted the cheap beer sweeping past her taste buds.</p>
<p>
  <b>***</b>
</p>
<p>“There you are,” Chloe practically shouted as she stumbled toward the spot where Beca was leaning against a wall. Beca was sipping from a can of cider that she’d managed to locate to avoid having to consume another Bud Light. “I’ve been looking all over for you!”</p>
<p>Beca caught Chloe before she could fall into the concrete, smiling softly as she thought back to the last time they stood this close to each other at a party. It was a moment Beca would never be able to erase from her memory – partially because it was a moment she never wanted to forget.</p>
<p>“Seems like <em>someone</em> managed to find something a little stronger than beer,” Beca mocked and Chloe nodded her head eagerly with a grin.</p>
<p>“Some sophomore snuck in a bottle of tequila that he probably stole from his dad’s liquor cabinet.” Chloe laughed and reached down to grab hold of Beca’s hands, leaning in closer. “Did I tell you how great you look tonight?” She peered down, making it evident that she was examining every inch of Beca’s body.</p>
<p>“O-kay,” Beca said slowly as she let out a laugh. She quickly helped Chloe stand upright before continuing. “Now I know you’ve had too much to drink.” She took Chloe’s cup out of her hand and settled it down on the cobblestone ledge nearby.</p>
<p>“We could go walk it off. Somewhere alone?” Chloe’s smirk only elicited a furrowed brow from Beca, but she played along.</p>
<p>“Mm, or we could sit down and I can get you some water.”</p>
<p>Chloe pouted, or maybe she didn’t. Beca wasn’t certain. Because before she could even get a proper glance at Chloe’s face, she felt a wandering hand brushing up and down her forearm.</p>
<p>“Your skin is so smooth.”</p>
<p>“Yup, we definitely need to get you some water.” Beca guided her in the direction of their house, not really minding the way Chloe’s arm slipped around her waist to steady her own weight.</p>
<p>She wasn’t sure if she’d been imagining it or if Chloe was studying her features as they headed up the stairwell and made their way down the hall into Chloe’s room.</p>
<p>“Well, I’ll just let you sleep it off—”</p>
<p>She didn’t have a chance to finish her sentence before Chloe cut her off.</p>
<p>“You aren’t going to stay with me?”</p>
<p>Beca tilted her head and frowned, peering down at the twin-sized bed that Chloe had already begun settling into.</p>
<p>“What? You need a babysitter all of a sudden?” Beca couldn’t help but tease her as she reached for the glass of water and pushed it in Chloe’s direction. Chloe sat up to take a sip and patted the spot beside her on the bed.</p>
<p>With little protest, Beca dropped down beside her and looked up until their eyes met. The liquor dilated Chloe’s pupils, but they were still as captivating as ever. Beca kept her gaze fixed on them for a little longer.</p>
<p>She wasn’t sure how she had missed it, but when she finally blinked and opened her eyes, Chloe was centimeters from her. The sweet, faint smell of her perfume flooded Beca’s senses and she wanted to breathe her in for just a little longer.</p>
<p>“You sure you’re feeling okay?”</p>
<p>Chloe nodded, and Beca could feel the warmth of the air they were sharing. Their lips lingered only an inch apart and despite her head telling her to pull away, her body wouldn’t budge.</p>
<p>“What are you d—”</p>
<p>It wasn’t like Beca hadn’t thought about this. About the way Chloe’s lips might feel against her own. But she never expected to find out. But instead of giving in and letting herself find out how her mouth tasted, she jerked backward.</p>
<p>“Dude, what the hell are you doing?”</p>
<p>“What? I’m kissing you.” Chloe’s voice was so casual, it forced Beca to blink in confusion.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I can <em>see</em> that. My question is what the hell you’re doing it for?”</p>
<p>“Oh, come on, Beca. You must know that I’ve had feelings for you for the past three years.”</p>
<p>Beca lifted her hand to the back of her neck as her mouth went dry. She shook her head.</p>
<p>“Chloe. You’re drunk. You’ve had way too much to drink tonight and you’re just upset because that new guy from your chem class wasn’t reciprocating when you were trying to flirt with him this morning.”</p>
<p>Chloe stayed silent, unblinking. Instead, her eyes were full of something that Beca wasn’t sure she had seen before. It looked a little bit like betrayal.</p>
<p>When the silence in the room grew heavy, Beca’s mind filled the silence as her thoughts began to race. ‘<em>Chloe couldn’t actually be serious, could she?’</em></p>
<p>Beca finally spoke again when realized Chloe was waiting for her to say something else. “Do you really have feelings for me?”</p>
<p>“Of course I do,” Chloe said softly. “I always have. Hell, I think you’re probably the only person I’ve ever loved. You must’ve known.” The soft laugh that followed did little to ease the tension in the room.</p>
<p>The words echoed in her head but didn’t quite register. They only ignited something inside of Beca that she was all too familiar with. Her fight or flight instinct took over and she felt herself shutting down. She hopped off of the bed and rushed toward the door.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I can’t deal with this right now.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Their next performance was one for the books. Not because it was something the Bellas should be proud of. No. Quite the opposite.</p>
<p>It’s not that any of the girls didn’t see it coming. All week at rehearsals, the tension in the air felt palpable. Beca was hoping that whatever weirdness she and Chloe were enduring wouldn’t rub off on the Bellas, but living under one roof made that impossible.</p>
<p>Nobody had said anything – luckily. She wasn’t sure how much longer that would last, and part of her wondered what Chloe would say if any of the Bellas decided to bring it up to her. But she didn’t dare to try and approach Chloe to try and strategize a cover up. Instead, she continued to keep her distance.</p>
<p>With each passing hour, Beca grew more determined to ignore all of this. She couldn’t even allow herself to think about what happened after the party without spiraling. Even during the performance today, Beca refused to make direct eye contact with Chloe.</p>
<p>The bus ride home was tense, and even though Beca sat as far from Chloe as possible, she couldn’t help but peer up every so often to try and catch a glimpse of her.</p>
<p><em>‘Chloe was drunk</em>,’ she kept telling herself. ‘<em>She didn’t mean anything she had said. She probably doesn’t even remember</em>.’</p>
<p>But she knew that wasn’t true. If it were, Chloe would’ve asked her why she was refusing to even look at her for nearly a week now.</p>
<p>With Chloe’s gaze locked on the floor of the bus, Beca peered over at Emily who was eagerly scribbling song lyrics into her notebook. Making small talk with Emily was easy – Emily could ramble on and on and Beca could just melt into the noise and let it drown out the thoughts running through her head.</p>
<p>“Are we just gonna ignore what happened back there?”</p>
<p>Chloe’s near-scream snapped the whole group’s attention up at her, and they all began to bicker. Beca stayed silent, knowing that she was primarily to blame for the way they had performed today.</p>
<p>Out of the corner of her eye, Beca caught Chloe making a call. All she wanted to do was turn her head properly and watch the way Chloe’s lips moved as she spoke, but she forced herself to keep her eyes on the floor as the rest of the girls continued to banter.</p>
<p>That was, until Chloe put her foot down.</p>
<p>“We’re going on a retreat.”</p>
<p>Beca blinked and finally looked up at Chloe now, but she didn’t expect the wave of disappointment that washed over her when Chloe looked away.</p>
<p>
  <b>***</b>
</p>
<p>The bus pulled up and the sight of a familiar face put Beca at ease. As all the girls rushed over to greet Aubrey, she forgot for almost a minute about the reason why they were here in the first place.</p>
<p>If the Bellas lost their sound, as Chloe had called it, was it because of Beca’s internship? Or the way she’d been distancing herself from the group to hide her secret? Or was it because of the heightening tension between her and Chloe? Regardless of the reason, she found herself piling into a tent and somehow managing to wind up sleeping next to Chloe.</p>
<p>“This is the worst,” she huffed. It was what she did best – channeling all her emotions that she didn’t want to deal with into small bouts of rage. Turning, she found herself face-to-face with Chloe.</p>
<p>“What are we doing here?” Beca crossed her arms, finding little else to serve as a defense against the close proximity she once again found herself in with Chloe. Luckily, she was surrounded by all the other girls this time. But she couldn’t help but shake the part of her that wished they were alone.</p>
<p>“We’re bonding,” Chloe smiled back at her. It was as if she knew all of Beca’s defense mechanisms by now. Perhaps she did. Or maybe she was opting to ignore the sharpness in her tone. As if Chloe’s bubbly optimism would somehow remind Beca that things between them didn’t have to change. “You seem tense. Do you want a back rub?”</p>
<p>Beca’s frown didn’t budge, but she couldn’t ignore the way something swelled inside of her chest at the thought of Chloe’s hands on her. Instead, she deflected and used sarcasm to worm her way out of <em>whatever</em> this was that Chloe was trying to pull. Rotating, she faced away from Chloe. She felt a small sense of relief—as if not being able to see Chloe could allow her to pretend she wasn’t still right beside her—but she also hated the way she wanted nothing more than to roll back over. Sleep finally overtook her, but not without a fight.</p>
<p>When the sound of birds chirping accompanied by the stream of sunlight peeking in through the sheer fabric of the tent, Beca threw her arms over her eyes and groaned.</p>
<p>Aubrey’s military chanting began, and Beca sprung up. She followed the rest of the Bellas outside of the tent for the bright and early start that she definitely did not want.</p>
<p>Chloe was smiling, of course. It didn’t matter how early it was, nor that they had spent the night sleeping on the cold, hard ground. Chloe was optimistic as ever and eager to make the best of any situation, and Beca took the opportunity to roll her eyes.</p>
<p>
  <b>***</b>
</p>
<p>After a day that felt like a mixture of summer camp and military drills that would leave Beca with new bruises, she couldn’t help but smile softly thinking back to the small moments of the day.</p>
<p>Like when they were running along the splash pad on the lake, struggling to keep their balance, and Chloe just happened to fall down on top of her. Or the way she actually might have smiled once or twice while crawling through the mud. Or when she’d nearly fallen off of the log and Chloe was there to catch her.</p>
<p>She was angry at herself for letting her thoughts distract her – this was the last thing she needed, after all.</p>
<p>“Sorry, but what are we doing?” Beca finally snapped midway into the late afternoon. She was exhausted and unsure what the point of any of this was.</p>
<p>“We’re rediscovering our sound,” Chloe said as blissfully simply as ever.</p>
<p>“Are we?” Beca’s tone was sharp, and she turned to face Chloe. Both of them knew this wasn’t about them losing their sound, whether they wanted to admit it out loud or not.</p>
<p>“Beca, come on,” Chloe tried. Beca barely noticed when the rest of the Bellas began to form a circle around her and Chloe. It was as if they could sense a bigger fall out impending right before them.</p>
<p>Aubrey tried to step in and interject, but the sound of her voice only made Beca snap.</p>
<p>“I’ve got more important things to do!”</p>
<p>She ran her fingers through her dirty hair, combing back the loose strands toward the top knot on her head. She didn’t have to look up to know Chloe was glaring at her with disappointment written all over her face.</p>
<p>“What can be more important than this?” The sound of Chloe’s voice echoed in Beca’s ears and all she wanted to do was to disappear.</p>
<p>“Nothing. Forget it.”</p>
<p>“What? You don’t think we haven’t all realized you’ve been a little checked out lately?”</p>
<p>When Beca went to turn and walk away, Chloe caught her by the arm.</p>
<p>“Don’t do this,” Beca murmured, her voice softening in a small defeat.</p>
<p>“Come on, Beca, just tell her.” Before Beca could budge from where she was standing, Amy’s voice echoed from behind her and she frowned before shooting a glare over her shoulder at Amy.</p>
<p>“I heard that. Tell me what?”</p>
<p>Amy mumbled, attempting to cover up her slip of the tongue. As her eyes rolled up in frustration, Beca avoided Chloe’s disappointed gaze. Finally, she turned and faced her. Despite the audience surrounding them, it felt like they were the only two people around.</p>
<p>“Okay. I’ve been interning at a recording studio.” She spoke slowly, trying her best to hide the resolute shake in her tone.</p>
<p>“Why would you keep something like that from us?”</p>
<p>Chloe’s voice was too calm. She wasn’t sure why, but Beca expected her to get angry. Angry was something she could cope with. But the look of betrayal was something she couldn’t stand to see. Especially not from Chloe.</p>
<p>“You know what?” Her voice was practically a scream – as if she needed to yell to be heard over the loud voices screaming in her head to just tell Chloe everything. “Just forget it!”</p>
<p>“So, what? You’re just going to stand there and pretend like your internship is the reason why you’ve been so distant? Beca, you can’t just avoid talking to me forever about what happened last week.”</p>
<p>Throwing her head back, Beca groaned. Chloe was right. This went far beyond just an internship that she’d been hiding from the group, but she didn’t expect Chloe to bring it up when they had an audience watching from the bench beside them.</p>
<p>“What happened last week?” Stacie chimed in, standing up off of the bench and beginning to step closer. Emily reached out and grabbed her by the arm to pull her back down before shaking her head.</p>
<p>“Yeah, Beca. What happened last week?” Chloe asked in a mocking tone, tilting her head.</p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter. Literally none of this actually matters. Just because the only one thinking about life after the Bellas is me doesn’t mean that I have to feel guilty about it.”</p>
<p>Chloe shook her head.</p>
<p>“Okay, so you’ve been lying to us for the entire year and <em>now</em> that’s it? You’re just going to walk away from us?” The first part of Chloe’s sentence may have been referring to her internship, but both she and Beca both knew exactly what she thought Beca was walking away from.</p>
<p>“Stop pushing me, dude. I just need some time to figure things out for myself.”</p>
<p>“Just because <em>you’re </em>pulling away doesn’t mean I’m pushing.” Chloe’s frustration began to simmer and Beca couldn’t bear to even look at her any longer.</p>
<p>“I ca– I’m out of here.”</p>
<p>She turned to spin on her heel, not bothering to even glance back over her shoulder as she walked away from the rest of the group and headed for the tent.</p>
<p>She didn’t know when the rest of the Bellas came in for bed because, long before that, Beca had tossed and turned until she finally fell fast asleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Beca was always a heavy sleeper—she liked to believe she’d trained herself to be that way over the years—but when the sunlight beamed directly onto her face, she couldn’t help the groan that rumbled in her throat as she stirred.</p>
<p>Part of her wondered how she’d managed to fall asleep without drawing the blinds until she remembered that she’d spent the duration of the night sleeping inside a tent and was now probably surrounded by all the other Bellas.</p>
<p>Shifting, she felt the weight of a mattress moving with her and she blinked her eyes open quickly.</p>
<p>“Wha–”</p>
<p>Shooting her body upward, her shoulders tightened. She took a fast glimpse around the room she was now in. Nothing about the room felt familiar, and she brushed her clammy hands over her shirt. When she peered down, she couldn’t even recognize the T-shirt she was wearing, let alone the bed she was sleeping in.</p>
<p>Exhaling, her breath felt jagged until she came to the conclusion that she must be dreaming. But when she pinched herself, she felt the bite of it and winced.</p>
<p>It was as if words couldn’t come to her. Instead, she peeled back the silky bedsheets draped over her waist and climbed out of the bed before taking a few steps forward to make her way across the bedroom.</p>
<p>The walls were a deep shade of plum, and she couldn’t resist the temptation of peering over into the mirror mounted on the wall.</p>
<p>She wasn’t sure what she had expected. Maybe she’d see someone else and realize that she’d managed to body swap into someone else’s life. But the reflection staring back at her was her own, only something about it felt off. Her hair was longer than she had remembered it being the day before. Her small frame remained the same, but subtle features on her face seemed off in a way she couldn’t quite place.</p>
<p>The sound of a siren in the distance startled her, and Beca snapped her head in the direction of the noise. One glance out of her window informed her that she was in a city, and the crystal clear view of Central Park confirmed her suspicions.</p>
<p>She was in an apartment that was foreign. In New York City. Sleeping in a bed that wasn’t her own.</p>
<p>Then something else caught her eye: a golden trophy sitting atop her dresser beside the spot where she was standing. And her name engraved on it with small lettering underneath.</p>
<p>Beca Mitchell<br/><b>Female Artist of the Year</b></p>
<p>“Okay, this is all just a ridiculous dream.” Beca’s nervous laughter flooded the room and she felt little sense of relief. But then she saw the pictures. There they were, framing the vanity mirror she’d just peered into moments ago. She wasn’t sure how she could have missed them.</p>
<p>One step. Then another.</p>
<p>It felt like there was an invisible magnet drawing her closer until she was face-to-face with the pictures and glaring at them with her jaw slackened and a gasp threatening to escape her lips.</p>
<p>It was undoubtedly Beca Mitchell. Staring back at her in all of the pictures. But the majority of them went unrecognized.</p>
<p>Sure, there was that all-too-familiar photo of the Bellas at their first championships, radiant smiles beaming as Aubrey, Chloe, and Beca all raised the trophy up on display as the flash went off. She took the picture down and stared at it – spending a few seconds brushing her index finger over the photo. She didn’t even realize she had been smiling.</p>
<p>But there were also a handful of photos with strangers. Then the photo of her standing in a black gown, a full face of makeup on her face, at what looked to be an award show. Her arm was draped around Beyoncé’s waist.</p>
<p>“I–” she stammered. “How?” She was certain that if she’d met a celebrity, let alone Beyoncé, she’d remember.</p>
<p>She continued to peer at each unfamiliar photo until one of just herself and Chloe caught her eye. They were both dressed in graduation caps and gowns. The smiles on both of their faces was a sight she didn’t realize she needed, desperately, to see. She felt a familiar warmth growing inside of her.</p>
<p>“I guess Chloe finally graduated after all,” she laughed to herself, forgetting for only a few moments just how impossible this entire situation was.</p>
<p>That quickly came to an end when the sound of a key fumbling and a door swinging open echoed from down the hall.</p>
<p>“Fuck–”</p>
<p>Sprinting back into the false sense of safety from the foreign bed, she dragged the covers up over her head. Maybe if she squeezed her eyes shut hard enough and hid from this alternate reality of a dream, she’d soon open her eyes and be back at the retreat squished in a tent, surrounded by the other Bellas.</p>
<p>“Good morning, sorry.” The voice danced into her ears and Beca pulled back the covers. “I know the key was meant to just be for emergencies but I need you.”</p>
<p>Before Beca could say another word, Chloe dropped down on the corner of the bed.</p>
<p>While she was disappointed that her going-back-to-bed-and-waking-from-her-dream tactic didn’t work, she was grateful to see a familiar face right now. But something about Chloe looked different, too. Her hair was shorter, hitting just below her collarbones. And the way she had applied her makeup seemed different somehow.</p>
<p>“Do you think we’re rushing into things? I don’t know. I’m having so many doubts. I really need your advice.” Chloe rambled, her words flying out a mile a minute, and scooted closer to Beca. “You alright? Why are you still in bed? Aren’t you usually up and getting ready to head to the studio?”</p>
<p>“Studio?” Beca only blinked, her brows furrowing as she glanced into Chloe’s eyes.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Chloe glanced at the watch on her wrist and Beca realized that even her watch was unfamiliar. It looked more high-tech than your typical wristwatch. “Don’t you usually head there early on Fridays? I didn’t wake you, did I?”</p>
<p>Deciding to come clean and spill the truth to Chloe seemed like the easiest option. But what would she say? That she doesn’t know where she is or how they got to the city or what month it even is? Instead, she stayed silent and just shook her head.</p>
<p>“N– no. No, you didn’t wake me.” She chose to leave it at that – grateful that she knew Chloe would continue to speak to fill the silence.</p>
<p>“So what do you think? Do you think we’re rushing into things? I mean, I know he loves me,” Chloe paused and averted her gaze for a moment.</p>
<p>She began to speak again, but Beca couldn’t hear it. It was like she was watching a movie but the sound was muted. Words were leaving Chloe’s mouth, but all she could hear was <em>I know he loves me</em> echoing in her head.</p>
<p>“He loves you,” Beca repeated out loud.</p>
<p>“Yes, of course. I mean. He <em>says</em> he does. But how could he be so certain that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me when we’ve only just met a few months ago? I’m just worried this is all happening too quickly.”</p>
<p>“Wait, a few months ago? Chloe—”</p>
<p>Chloe frowned and scooted up until she was directly beside Beca in bed. Lifting her feet, she draped them out in front of her to make herself comfortable.</p>
<p>“Yes, you know this…” Chloe tilted her head. “Beca, what’s going on with you today?”</p>
<p>Exhaling, Beca felt a small weight that had been pressing down on her chest dissipating slightly.</p>
<p>“Dude, I don’t know what is going on, okay?”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“I mean.” Beca paused and looked around the room. “I fell asleep and woke up here and have no idea what happened or how I’ve ended up here.” She ran her fingers through her hair, massaging at her scalp in an attempt to soothe an impending headache.</p>
<p>“Did you drink too much last night? Or did you bump your head?” Chloe’s voice fluctuated and Beca could detect the worry in her tone. “Oh, god. Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“I– I, yeah. I mean. I <em>feel</em> fine. I just don’t remember anything.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Chloe sighed and began to run a consoling hand up and down Beca’s arm. Usually, Beca would pull away from any unexpected physical contact. But she needed the familiar comfort of Chloe Beale more than she’d realized. “Well, I guess I can try to fill in the blanks. How much did you forget? Just last night? A few days?”</p>
<p>“Chloe,” Beca shook her head, knowing this would sound ridiculous. “I have <b>no</b> idea where we are. Or how we got here. Or what year it even is.” She didn’t even want to get started on the strangers in the photographs or the trophies and awards.</p>
<p>“You– what, like amnesia? What’s the last thing you remember?” Suddenly, Chloe’s voice perked up and Beca wasn’t sure if she was concerned or intrigued by all of this. Either way, Beca was just grateful she didn’t think she’d lost her mind completely.</p>
<p>“Oh, um.” Beca stuttered again and she looked down at her palms, fidgeting with the duvet cover. “The last thing I remember is all of us at the retreat. And you and I were– we had a fight.”</p>
<p>Chloe’s eyes bulged. “Beca, that was five years ago.”</p>
<p>With her jaw clenched, more out of fear than anger, Beca brought both hands up to her face and she rubbed over her temples.</p>
<p>“Five years?”</p>
<p>Chloe nodded.</p>
<p>“How is this possible? What happened after that trip? I must be dreaming. This can’t be happening.”</p>
<p>“We can go to the doctor uptown. I can take you.”</p>
<p>Beca groaned and collapsed backward until her head hit the pillow. “I just want to go back to bed.”</p>
<p>“Beca, this is serious. And even if you don’t want to go to a doctor, you still have work.”</p>
<p>“Right,” Beca sighed with a firm nod. “Work… I do that. Because apparently it’s been five years and that must explain why we’re in an apartment in the city.” Her voice oozed with sarcasm and she wanted more than anything to just laugh this all off now. It was impossible. And she was now more sure than ever that this was all a dream.</p>
<p>“Yes. You were signed with a record label and I just finished vet school and I’m <em>definitely </em>going to be late for my shift.” She tried to laugh, but the look of dread on Beca’s face only made her frown.</p>
<p>Sitting up again, Beca blinked. “Signed with a record label? So I’m not even producing? That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.”</p>
<p>Chloe shook her head and laughed.</p>
<p>“Things changed. You’re not producing, but you sure as hell are kicking ass at this whole performer thing.” She peered over at the awards and smiled, beaming with pride.</p>
<p>“But I don’t <em>want</em> that.”</p>
<p>With the smallest of shrugs, Chloe kept a soft smile on her lips. “Things change, Bec. You’re talented.”</p>
<p>Chloe climbed off of the bed and reached for her phone in her purse. Dropping back down, she opened Instagram and pulled up Beca’s profile. It had the verified check mark and everything—not that it meant anything to Beca—but the 704K followers certainly did.</p>
<p>Beca’s eyes widened and she took the phone from Chloe, scrolling through the feed. Unblinking, she shook her head at the pictures of her accompanying other celebrities and musicians and artistic shots of herself that were clearly taken during a professional photoshoot. There were even clips of music videos and the occasional post of her with friends she didn’t recognize. She was grateful to see a few posts with herself and Chloe, and a few with Amy as well.</p>
<p>“Well, at least I look really good in a suit,” Beca tried to laugh but it got caught in her throat and the sound that came out instead just sounded weak and muffled.</p>
<p>Chloe raised an eyebrow and laughed.</p>
<p>“What, was that not already a known fact? I’ve seen you naked and, believe me, you look really good in everything.”</p>
<p>“Chloe,” Beca groaned. “That was ages ago.”</p>
<p>“Oh, no. I was referring to the nude photoshoot you did last week that you made me accompany you to.”</p>
<p>Beca’s face fell. “What?”</p>
<p>The burst of laughter and Chloe’s inability to keep a straight face told Beca everything she’d needed to know.</p>
<p>“You suck.”</p>
<p>“You really are telling the truth about this whole no memory thing, huh?”</p>
<p>“You really think I’d make this up?”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay. What else do you need to know?” Chloe’s smile fell as her features neutralized, realizing this was more serious than she’d been treating it.</p>
<p>But Beca was tired. She didn’t want to hear any more of this. She’d already seen enough.</p>
<p>“Tell me about this boy that you’re–” she paused, choking on the words. “–the guy you’re marrying.” She hated how much she despised saying that out loud. Even tasting the words on her tongue felt wrong. She felt sick.</p>
<p>Chloe filled her in on more of the details of her very rushed relationship with some man named Kyle. About how they’d met at a summer work retreat. About how it started as a casual fling. About how he asked her out and then proposed by the end of the summer. About how happy Chloe was.</p>
<p>Beca felt dread seeping in to every bone in her body with each word that left Chloe’s lips – and yet she couldn’t force herself to look away from them.</p>
<p>“Well, he must make you happy enough that you agreed to marry him in the first place, right?”</p>
<p>Chloe’s face was unreadable, but Beca almost swore she saw a glimpse of disappointment when Chloe heard what Beca had said.</p>
<p>“Oh, mm. Yeah, I guess you’re right.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, I just think maybe you’re doubting it because it’s happening so quickly and you’ve never been the type for a serious relationship. I mean, when was the last time you actually had feelings for someone who wasn’t just a fling?”</p>
<p>Chloe stayed silent for a minute, biting her bottom lip. Finally, she stood.</p>
<p>“I should get going. And you should get to work, too. We’re both going to be late.”</p>
<p>Beca nodded and followed suit. Just before Chloe left her apartment, Beca called out for her.</p>
<p>“Hey, Chlo. Where <em>is</em> my office?” She rubbed at the back of her neck and gave Chloe a nervous chuckle.</p>
<p>“Sony,” Chloe laughed softly. “25 Madison.”</p>
<p>And without another word, Chloe was gone. Along with her, the only sense of safety and familiarity that Beca had felt since the moment she had woken up.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s not that she didn’t know how to work technology, but a lot of advancements had been made in five years that Beca didn’t anticipate. And that included her phone’s transit apps and an ability to navigate the New York City subway system.</p>
<p>On top of the layer of confusion as she worked out how to get to the office, she faced something that was entirely new to her: strangers on the street rushing up to her for autographs, photos, and casual conversation.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry, but I’m late.” She brushed off as many fans as she could, but some were persistent. Through gritted teeth, she gripped hold of pens and notebooks and rushed to sign her name before making a mental note to take a car to work next time.</p>
<p>She realized about three quarters of the way through her morning commute that she’d probably need a work ID badge to get into the building. She rummaged through her purse and groaned when she came up empty handed. But all those worries soon vanished as she was greeted at the door and escorted up to her floor by someone who must be a security guard or a concierge or an overly enthusiastic doorman.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” she smiled at him and ducked down the hall, unsure what she was even doing there.</p>
<p>“There she is,” a younger man in a suit with an accent—who looked a little too uncomfortable in the tie he was wearing—gestured Beca over. “I’m so sorry for keeping you waiting.” He was speaking to an older woman who was equally as formally-dressed.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Beca murmured – unsure if they were even talking about her until the man gestured her over.</p>
<p>“Not a problem, dear,” the woman said with a smile as she reached to extend an open hand. “My name is Sarah Rhodes, I head the publicity team at Foster Pride. I’ll be hosting the charity event tomorrow night.”</p>
<p>“Charity event?” Beca frowned and looked at the man, as if she’d find answers from yet another stranger.</p>
<p>“Oh, don’t be modest, Beca. You’ve been rehearing your set all week,” he laughed and Beca nervously chuckled along.</p>
<p>“Right,” she forced a smile and glanced from him to her and then to the floor. “Of course I remember. I should actually go and rehearse a bit more. It was a pleasure to meet you in person.” She didn’t realize she was fidgeting with the button of her blouse as she turned to walk in the opposite direction – not knowing where she had intended to go.</p>
<p>“Oh, and Miss Mitchell?” The woman who’d introduced herself as Sarah called after her. “Feel free to bring some friends along. This benefit will really help put my organization on the radar, and I cannot thank you enough for this. I’m a big fan myself.”</p>
<p>Beca smiled again and nodded. Friends. Right.</p>
<p>After a few awkward laps around the studio, she located the area that seemed to belong to her. The only thing that distinguished it as her own was the framed picture of her and the Bellas, and her eyes bulged when she realized Stacie was holding a baby. The frame was customized, embossed with the words, “The Bellas and Bella: first meeting.”</p>
<p>A stack of scribbled-down song lyrics and sheet music lie scattered across her desk space and she frowned. If she was meant to perform at an event, she needed to learn a set in 24 hours.</p>
<p>With everything going on, this all felt too surreal for her to properly understand. How could she have lost all that time? How could she be working as a performer when she’d spent so many years of her life devoted to working as a producer? How could Chloe be marrying someone who wasn’t her?</p>
<p>That last question hit her like a high-speed truck on the interstate, and she squeezed her eyes shut. This was what she had wanted. She had the chance to tell Chloe how she felt, and she pushed her away. What did she expect to happen?</p>
<p>But she couldn’t shake the small voice in the back of her head that was silently pleading for this to all be a dream so she could wake up and tell Chloe how she felt. But that also meant she needed to come to terms with the biggest question of all: how did she feel? And why did she have such a hard time admitting it to even herself?</p>
<p>She gathered all the papers in one hand and decided to make an excuse to go home. If she had any chance at learning all of these songs by tomorrow, she needed peace and quiet. If only she knew where that would be possible to find in a city that was new and an apartment that was eerily not home to her.</p>
<p>“Hey,” she called out to the man in the suit. She thought that she heard someone else calling him Theo, but she didn’t want to take any chances. “I’m actually not feeling too great. I’m gonna head out.”</p>
<p>He shrugged – almost as if she wasn’t sure why she was telling him this.</p>
<p>“Cool, so, um– I guess I’ll just see you at the benefit tomorrow?” She followed up with a question this time, hoping it would elicit a proper response.</p>
<p>“Yes, I’ll have the driver come and get you around 8 pm from your place.”</p>
<p>Beca nodded, grateful that she didn’t have to dig for answers on where the event was taking place and how she’d be getting there.</p>
<p>“Oh, and I’ll have Kimberly drop off your outfit in the afternoon,” he added as she walked to the elevators.</p>
<p>
  <b>***</b>
</p>
<p>It turned out that the only thing more difficult for Beca than navigating the NYC subway system was trying to do so while reading lyrics she’d had no recollection of writing.</p>
<p>“I’ve never even written my own songs before,” Beca groaned to herself as she rummaged through her bag for headphones. Sure, she might have been missing five years of memories, but some things would never change – she knew she’d always have headphones on her. When all she could find were small earbuds, she frowned when she realized they were wireless.</p>
<p>Luckily, she adapted quickly and the loud hum of the crowd and the rattling of the subway train faded to silence. Noise-cancelling headphones were probably the only thing she had appreciated about the future so far.</p>
<p>She located her music app and still refused to believe it was real when she saw herself come up under Top Artists. Tapping on one of her songs, she settled against the pole and listened in disbelief. But if she had to perform at an event, she needed to first understand her own music style.</p>
<p>By the time she successfully navigated back to her apartment, she was walking toward the kitchen when an idea popped into her head.</p>
<p>With the music sheets and lyrics sprawled out in front of her on the table, she dialed Emily’s number.</p>
<p>Something about Emily’s voice seemed off when she answered.</p>
<p>“Beca?”</p>
<p>“Um, yeah. Hi! It’s me.”</p>
<p>“Oh my god, you’re calling me. How are you? How is New York? What’s it like being famous? Wait, why <em>are</em> you calling me?”</p>
<p>Beca wondered if she’d lost touch with some of the Bellas after graduation. Of course she always knew it was a possibility, a likely one. I mean, sure… friends went their separate ways after college. But something about hearing the surprise in Emily’s tone made her face fall.</p>
<p>“Oh, um. It– it’s great. I was actually calling because I need some help.”</p>
<p>“Yes, oh my god. Anything. I’d love a good distraction from all my grad school work,” Emily laughed and Beca felt some relief.</p>
<p>“Oh, how has that been? Wait, dude, where are you?”</p>
<p>“I’m at UCLA, remember?”</p>
<p>“Right. Oh, right. Yeah. I knew that,” Beca lied.</p>
<p>“Benji and I actually just moved off campus into a really cute apartment. And guess what? We got a puppy!” Emily squealed. Beca smiled at the thought of her and Benji together. It wasn’t until Emily continued that Beca snapped her attention back to the reason for the call “So what’s up? What do you need my help with?”</p>
<p>“Well, um– okay. This is gonna sound a little weird. Do you still write your own music?”</p>
<p>“Well, I do. A little. I guess. Not like you.” Emily was rambling and Beca couldn’t help but wonder if she was always like this or if she was a little nervous. “It’s more of a hobby now and UCLA has an a capella group, but it’s nothing like the Bellas.”</p>
<p>“That’s great!” Beca smiled and the jut of her cheekbone bumped against her iPhone screen. “You’re super talented, dude. You should be recording in a studio.”</p>
<p>They continued their small talk for a bit before Beca finally came out and said what she’d needed.</p>
<p>“I’m struggling a bit with this new set I’m performing tomorrow and you were the first person I thought to call for help,” Beca admitted.</p>
<p>“Wait. <em>I </em>was the first person you thought to call? When you’re surrounded by professionals?”</p>
<p>She refused to divulge into the whole story with Emily. It was scary enough telling Chloe about the lost time, she didn’t need to go through that again. Instead, she played it off.</p>
<p>“Yeah, you were. Do you think you could help?”</p>
<p>After two hours with Emily on speakerphone, and another two with her on FaceTime in front of her recording equipment that was set up in the living room, Beca felt up to speed on the music that was supposedly hers. Maybe not confident enough to perform it just yet, but enough to understand the material.</p>
<p>They said their goodbyes and Beca wondered if she’d spent every night alone like this. The apartment was quiet, despite the echo of traffic in the distance from down below, and the sun had already set for the night. In 24 hours, a driver would be picking her up to take her to the benefit concert.</p>
<p>It didn’t feel real. None of it did.</p>
<p>And the weirdest part of all was that she found herself constantly reaching for her phone wanting to dial Chloe’s number. Whether it was because she was the only person who knew about Beca’s situation, or for another reason, she did her best to resist the urge and just focus on rehearsing.</p>
<p>Beca brought the lyrics into her bedroom and dropped down on her bed. When her phone rang, Chloe popped into her head before she even had a chance to read the name.</p>
<p>“Hi!”</p>
<p>“Ah, so you are alive.” It wasn’t Chloe’s voice coming through the phone, and Beca wasn’t sure why she had gotten her hopes up.</p>
<p>“Amy?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, who else would it be? Don’t tell me you’ve managed to lose my number now that you’re all famous and stuff. But you can’t play that card with me because I saw you last weekend.”</p>
<p>“You’re in New York?” Beca didn’t bother to hide her surprise.</p>
<p>“Where else would I be? I <em>own</em> my house in Brooklyn, remember? I bought it after the rest of my inheritance came in and I revamped my one-woman show.”</p>
<p>One thing Beca was grateful for was the fact that Amy would never suspect anything as ridiculous as Beca losing five year’s worth of memories.</p>
<p>“Earth to Beca,” Amy’s voice echoed into the phone. “So can you get me the tickets or what?”</p>
<p>“Tickets? What?” She blinked and frowned when she realized she’d missed part of the conversation while deep in thought.</p>
<p>“For your benefit tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“Oh– ohhh. I was told to bring friends. I had meant to invite you. And– and Chloe.”</p>
<p>“Well you know I’ll be there in the audience to cheer you on. I’m sure Chloe will come, too. Did you text her?”</p>
<p>“No, I haven’t yet actually. Speaking of Chloe... Hey, Ames. Do you remember that fight Chloe and I had at the Bellas retreat?” Beca wasn’t sure what she’d hoped to accomplish, but if she could fish for information and successfully get it, it would be from Amy.</p>
<p>“I thought the two of you, like, put that all past you and worked out all that weird sexual Bhloe tension or whatever.”</p>
<p>“Right, yeah.” She was grateful Amy didn’t ask questions regarding why she had asked about it, but she wished she could’ve learned more about what happened.</p>
<p>“God, that was all so awful. You both were so whiny but wouldn’t just talk to each other. I’ve never seen Chloe so upset. But, it’s all in the past. And she’s got that sexy new fiancé, ehh?”</p>
<p>Beca felt her chest fall and she shook her head, realizing this was a terrible idea.</p>
<p>“She was upset?”</p>
<p>“Well, yeah. You both were.”</p>
<p>Beca changed her mind. She didn’t want to hear this after all.</p>
<p>“I– I’ve actually gotta go rehearse for tomorrow. I’ll see you there?”</p>
<p>They said their goodbyes and Beca quickly stripped out of her jeans and into an oversized T-shirt before sliding under the slight comfort of the unfamiliar bedsheets.</p>
<p>If she and Chloe both were upset for weeks, but clearly moved past it, did that mean they had talked through it? It didn’t sound like something Beca would do – to talk to Chloe about how she felt, especially when she didn’t know or understand it.</p>
<p>The clock illuminated on her nightstand. A faint glow that informed her that it was nearly 11 pm, but this day felt like it had been going on for years.</p>
<p>The nerves of having to perform on a stage, alone, in less than 24 hours was eating at her. All she wanted was to call Chloe. To ask her to come over. But it was too late now. She’d missed any chance she’d had of being with Chloe now that she was engaged. She just wished she had realized how miserable that would make her feel, back when she still had a chance.</p>
<p>Maybe sleep would overcome her and she’d wake up back in the tent. Maybe this would all just be a dream. Maybe she had a chance after all.</p>
<p>Squeezing her eyes shut, she was desperate to get back to that tent. She’d do anything. Her mind did little to help reassure her that things would be okay. Instead, she kept thinking back to the way she felt when she first woke up this morning. God, it felt like so long ago now. And, yet, the Bellas retreat still only felt like yesterday. Because, no matter what anyone told her, it <em>was</em> only yesterday.</p>
<p>When she’d first woken in an unfamiliar bed and a room that didn’t truly belong to her, she was afraid – for lack of a better word. But then Chloe arrived. And that fear vanished, even if it was only for a little while.</p>
<p>“God, I really fucked everything up.”</p>
<p>She thought about Chloe marrying someone else. She kept her eyes closed and wondered what he looked like. She wondered if Chloe ever missed Beca? If Chloe’s feelings were ever real or if she was just drunk that night? She wondered what would have happened if she’d kissed Chloe back.</p>
<p>Somewhere between racing thoughts and stray tears falling onto her pillow, her body fell into a deep sleep. But it was a false sense of security because, hours later, her body jolted her awake.</p>
<p>She groaned when she realized she was still here, in this apartment. Not in the middle of the woods surrounded by her family.</p>
<p>Despite the clock shining 1:18 AM, Beca reached for her phone that managed to nestle its way underneath the arch of her back on the mattress. She typed a text message to Chloe.</p>
<p>
  <em>I miss you.</em>
</p>
<p>She erased that quickly and typed a new message in its place.</p>
<p><em>Hey. Are you awake</em>?</p>
<p>She stared at the message – her finger hovering over the little blue send button for what felt like ten minutes before she finally tapped to send it.</p>
<p>Twenty minutes passed. Every time her phone buzzed, she gripped it tightly, but only let her face fall in disappointment when she saw it was just a social media notification from another excited fan eager to watch her performance tomorrow.</p>
<p>Wide awake, Beca peeled herself out from the layers of heavy blankets and a duvet cover until she was free from the confines of her bedroom. Stumbling toward the kitchen in the dark, she swung open her pantry to find something that would distract her from the sleepless night ahead of her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She wasn’t sure when it happened, but Beca must have fallen back asleep at some point in the night. The abrupt ringing of her phone’s alarm startled her awake and she frowned when she realized, once again, that she was still here.</p><p>“I just want to go back!” She yelled into her empty apartment as the frustration swelled in her chest.</p><p>She didn’t want to be a performer. She didn’t care about how nice her apartment was. She didn’t care that she’d been successful and had followers on social media. She missed her friends – the ones that were like family to her. She missed the way things used to be. None of this mattered now. Not without them. Not without <em>her</em>.</p><p>Then it hit her – she had nearly forgotten the late-night text she’d sent to Chloe. She reached for her phone that somehow made its way onto the charger on the nightstand.</p><p>Accompanying a missed call from Chloe was a text from her. One that simply read, “You okay?”</p><p>Not wanting to worry her, Beca tapped on the phone icon at the top of their conversation window to return her missed call.</p><p>“Hey, you alright? Sorry I missed your text.” Chloe’s worried tone was a familiar comfort. Despite having spent 24 hours in this new future-world, something about hearing Chloe’s voice grounded Beca. It also reminded her that she wasn’t where she was meant to be. It reminded her of all that she’d lost.</p><p>“Oh, sorry for worrying you. I just couldn’t sleep. I’m so worried about this benefit tonight. You’re coming, right?”</p><p>“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it.”</p><p>“Hey. I was actually wondering,” Beca paused and rubbed at the back of her neck. “Would you want to go with me?”</p><p>Chloe laughed and Beca let out a nervous chuckle as her only response. For all she knew, they’d already had a conversation about this and made arrangements to go together. But that wasn’t what Beca meant.</p><p>“What’s so funny?”</p><p>“We already had arranged to go together,” Chloe said simply and the sound of a blender kicking on in the background startled Beca.</p><p>“Oh, so you’ll <em>come with me</em> then?”</p><p>“Yes, Beca,” Chloe laughed again softly. “I’ll meet you at your place? What time?”</p><p>There it was again. That sense of comfort and relief that only Chloe could seem to provide.</p><p>“Great. That’s great,” Beca exhaled. “The car is coming to pick me up so just come over before 8. How does that sound?”</p><p>They said a brief goodbye and Beca hung up – unsure how she’d face this day. She could spend the next few hours rehearsing and she’d never feel like she belonged on that stage. But at least she’d be with Chloe.</p><p>***</p><p>The clock seemed to be mocking Beca in more ways than one. With each ticking of its second hand, it served as a reminder that this performance was inevitable. But it also served as a reminder that time moved slowly. She’d been rehearsing for hours and it was still only 4 pm.</p><p>But she couldn’t just sit around any longer. Instead, she headed toward the bathroom and decided to shower and get ready with hours to spare. She couldn’t let the nerves get to her.</p><p>Part of her, deep down, kept telling her this was all just a dream. That it didn’t matter how the performance went because this was all in her head. It must be. But then how come she couldn’t force herself to wake up from it all?</p><p>It took Beca several moments of scrolling through her own Instagram page and typing her name into a Google Image search to figure out what her makeup style was. It turned out that she still had a heavy hand with the eyeliner, but she must have ditched some of the ear piercings over the years.</p><p>Her outfit arrived—as scheduled—and she fumbled with the zipper of the dark designer jumpsuit but smiled when she looked in the mirror. At least she wasn’t being forced out of her comfort zone completely. Sighing at the sight of the vast shoe collection in her closet, she opted for a dark heel that felt like it had been broken in well enough to provide her enough comfort for a few hours.</p><p>The sound of the buzzer made Beca jump. Had it already gotten so late? She shuffled down the hall toward the door, feeling a flutter in her stomach that was far more than just nerves.</p><p>“Oh my god, you look stunning,” Chloe practically sang out before Beca could even open the door all the way.</p><p>Standing in front of her was the Chloe Beale she knew well. Clad in a deep navy cocktail dress and nude heels. Her makeup seemed to somehow make her impossibly blue eyes even brighter and she beamed a radiant grin behind a red lip.</p><p>But standing beside her was Kyle, her fiancé, who Beca hadn’t even thought twice about when she called Chloe this morning to ask if she was coming.</p><p>Beca blinked only once before gesturing them both inside. She tried to gather her composure while locking the door before turning to face them again.</p><p>“I hope it’s cool that Kyle is tagging along, you now how much he loves these events.”</p><p><em>’No. No, I don’t know that,’ </em>she wanted to respond. Or did Chloe completely forget? Instead, she bit her tongue.</p><p>Beca looked at Kyle, seemingly sizing him up but really just taking him all in. He was the type of man Beca would anticipate Chloe would end up with. He looked like he belonged in an Abercrombie catalog and even his name seemed to suit him.</p><p>“Oh, oh– yeah. Of course. I assumed you’d both be coming,” she lied. “Chloe can you help me with something in my room?”</p><p>She didn’t wait for Chloe to respond before tugging on her arm and dragging her into the bedroom.</p><p>They were alone, finally, and Beca wasn’t even sure what she wanted to say. She just knew she needed the comfort of Chloe’s company until she could calm down.</p><p>“Chloe, I have <em>no</em> idea what I’m doing.” Beca’s confession slipped past her lips before she could even figure out where she was going with this. “I don’t know how to perform on a stage in front of people.”</p><p>“Sure you do, Bec.” Chloe only nodded and smiled, reassuringly. “You’ve been performing for years.”</p><p>“I don’t <em>remember it</em>, remember?” Beca enunciated each word – each syllable – separately, dragging the sentence out in a meager attempt to rid her frustration.</p><p>“I– well, I know. But you’re a natural. And, besides, you’ve performed with the Bellas hundreds of times. I knew you’d have the greatness to perform on your own from that moment I heard you singing with me in the shower.”</p><p>The memory hit Beca and it was the last thing she needed right now. But, at the same time, it also gave her an idea.</p><p>“I guess if I just pretend I’m singing alone with you, I’ll feel better when I get up on stage.”</p><p>Chloe grinned, nodding eagerly. “See. You know exactly what you’re doing. I’m not worried.”</p><p>Beca huffed. “Well, that’s because I’m worried enough for the both of us.”</p><p>Extending an arm, Chloe rested her hand on Beca’s shoulder and turned until they were both facing the mirror in the corner of the room. Beca caught sight of their reflection staring back at them. Something about it felt right. They looked like a power couple, but Beca wouldn’t admit that out loud.</p><p>“Your hair looks really nice,” was all Beca said instead. “I like your curls like that.”</p><p>Chloe played with the ends of her hair for a moment and then smiled at Beca. As they locked eyes, Beca couldn’t stop her gaze from falling to Chloe’s mouth. She felt her heart speeding up in her chest and she licked her lips.</p><p>“We– we wouldn’t want to keep Kyle waiting,” Beca coughed out and dropped her gaze to the floor before glancing back up.</p><p>“Right. I hope it’s okay that I brought him. He’s secretly a humongous P!nk fan and he would pout about it for weeks if I didn’t let him tag along.”</p><p>Beca’s expression went blank, and she didn’t need to ask what Chloe was talking about before Chloe recognized that look of confusion.</p><p>“Did you not know this benefit concert was a line up? There are like eight other artists.” Chloe laughed and Beca exhaled.</p><p>“Why the hell didn’t anyone tell me <em>that</em> sooner?” Beca nearly laughed just from the relief. If there were other performers, that meant all the attention wouldn’t be on her. That meant the entire audience wasn’t there just to watch her. Sure, she’d still have to get up on stage. But bigger and better names would take the pressure off of her.</p><p>“Sorry to interrupt,” Kyle called as he knocked once on the bedroom door. “But I think the car is downstairs.”</p><p>Beca reached for her phone and saw a message confirming that Kyle was right.</p><p>“Oh, shit. Okay. Let’s do this.” Her confidence didn’t seem to match her tone. But, still, she grabbed her clutch and headed down toward the elevator.</p><p>When they were nestled inside of the limo – something Beca was definitely not used to – Chloe leaned over. Before Beca knew what was happening, Chloe and Kyle were kissing. And Beca couldn’t look away, as much as she wanted to.</p><p>They broke apart after the chaste kiss and Chloe reached for the bottle of champagne. She twisted it open with ease and handed Beca a glass.</p><p>“What the hell,” Beca said with a laugh. “Might help me get through this night.” She wasn’t sure if she was referring to the performance or to spending an evening with Chloe and her future husband.</p><p>***</p><p>The venue was packed, and Beca was grateful for her small stature. It helped her blend in with the crowd, despite her supposed fame. Sure, she had a handful of fans stopping and talking to her about how excited they were to see her perform, but it wasn’t like there was a constant flux of fans flocking to her.</p><p>Chloe walked her way with a drink in tow – her third of the evening.</p><p>“I see you still have the same liquor tolerance as you did in college,” Beca laughed as they located Kyle who found them a small table to congregate at. He was drinking from a scotch glass and Beca wished she could have more to drink to settle the nerves.</p><p>Chloe tilted her head and her dilated gaze answered Beca’s question.</p><p>“Isn’t Kyle so handsome?” Chloe practically giggled as she inched closer to him and pressed her hand to his chest. “Did you know he used to be a model?”</p><p>Beca raised an eyebrow, making it clear to anyone who caught a glimpse of her that she had little interest in hearing more about Kyle.</p><p>“Of course now, he’s the most talented veterinarian in the tri-state area.” She continued to boast about him as her hands trailed down his suit jacket. “Smart <em>and</em> sexy.”</p><p>“There you guys are,” Amy practically shouted through the crowd. “Been calling you for ten bloody minutes.”</p><p>Amy looked at the table and dropped down quickly into the empty seat, leaving Beca standing. But Beca didn’t mind. She was more than grateful for an excuse to escape all of this.</p><p>“Sorry, I turned my phone off. And Chloe is probably too drunk to have noticed hers was vibrating.”</p><p>“Oh, are you nervous because you’re practically opening for Ariana Grande? Or is it because you’re singing after Fletcher goes on? That’s a pretty tough act to follow, it makes sense. I’d be a wreck if I were you.</p><p>“Thanks, Amy.” Beca said before pressing her lips together. “I’m actually gonna go– um, sound check?” She didn’t say much more before ducking out into the crowd.</p><p>She rushed to a side door and the cool night air soothed her and slapped her in the face all at once. But it was exactly what she needed. It felt like she was suffocating with each moment that passed where she was standing beside a drunken and touchy Chloe. Not because it was anything new to her, but because there was once a time when the person Chloe would touch and get a little too close to was Beca.</p><p>“Excuse me, Miss Mitchell?” Someone with a headset draped over his chest caught her attention and she jumped.</p><p>“Sorry – just needed some air.”</p><p>“You’re wanted backstage. You’re on in ten.”</p><p>***</p><p>“Relax, Beca. You’ve performed with the Bellas so many times. This is just like that. You can do this.”</p><p>The personal pep talk did little for the pounding in her chest and the incessant sweatiness of her palms. When she spotted the stage and the one single microphone in its stand, she exhaled a breath that she’d been holding for longer than she had realized.</p><p>Before she could think any longer about all the things that could go wrong, someone called her name and the crowd cheered. She felt her legs carrying her body across the stage as if it were all happening without her control.</p><p>“H– hi, everyone.” She spoke into the microphone to check the volume and smiled nervously at the cheering fans calling back to her. “Thanks for coming out tonight to support a great cause.”</p><p>She paused and tried to remember her own name, let alone the name of the song she was meant to be singing. But when the instrumental started playing in the background, her eyes sifted through the crowd in search of Chloe.</p><p>‘<em>And, besides, you’ve performed with the Bellas hundreds of times. I knew you’d have the greatness to perform on your own from that moment I heard you singing with me in the shower.’</em></p><p>Chloe’s words from just a few hours earlier served as a small reminder that she could do this. And, although she couldn’t find Chloe in the crowd, she pretended the Bellas were right there behind her as she began to sing.</p><p><em>What I wish I would have told you<br/></em> <em>I keep thinking of the old you<br/></em> <em>These feelings always hold true<br/></em> <em>I just didn’t have the heart to share</em></p><p><em>To think of what we could be<br/></em> <em>I’m tired of feelin’ empty<br/></em> <em>From the moment that you left me<br/></em> <em>I wonder if you know I care</em></p><p><em>Better days behind us<br/></em> <em>There’s every day reminders<br/></em> <em>Never thought I’d find,<br/></em> <em>I thought you were a memory</em></p><p><em>The clock keeps ticking</em><br/><em>My heart rate quickens<br/></em> <em>My mind plays tricks on me</em></p><p>It wasn’t until the audience began to cheer and the last word of the song escaped her lips that she finally realized something: even though she had supposedly written this song five years after Chloe came forward about her feelings that Beca was so desperate to run away from, it seemed like every word she had just sung to a sea of strangers was directed at nobody else but Chloe Beale.</p><p>The moment the curtain fell, Beca’s feet were moving before she could stop herself. She knew she needed to find Chloe. She didn’t care if she was meant to perform another song. Hell, she didn’t care if she lost her record deal. None of it mattered. Nothing else mattered.</p><p>“Chloe!” Beca pushed her way through the crowd. Vivid images of herself rushing into Chloe’s open arms to celebrate and congratulate her on her very first performance on a stage alone was flooding through her mind as she desperately tried to seek her out.</p><p>She spotted Amy first and frowned when she didn’t see Chloe beside her.</p><p>“Where’s Chloe?” Beca’s labored breathing only added to her desperation.</p><p>“Beca, that song was—”</p><p>But Beca didn’t hear the rest of the words that came out of Amy’s mouth. Instead, her eyes fell on Chloe. With her back pressed against the edge of the table and her tongue down her fiancé’s throat.</p><p>“I– I need to get out of here.”</p><p>It was as if someone set a fire underneath her feet. She sprinted outside, not caring about the way the heels were pinching now at the balls of her feet in a desperate attempt to slow her pace. She couldn’t breathe.</p><p>“Beca!” “Oh my god, it is her!” “OhmygodBecaMitchell!” “Over here we’re your biggest fans!” “Beca, we love you.”</p><p>The excitement buzzing off of the fans rushing toward her only made her feel more trapped. She thought she heard a scream in the distance, but then she realized it was coming from inside of her head. And then it was coming out of her mouth.</p><p>She crouched down to the ground, pressing her hands to the back of her head to try and catch her breath. She could feel cameras on her now. More fans approaching.</p><p>Fight of flight kicked in. A rush of adrenaline told her that if she didn’t get out of here, she’d end up fainting.</p><p>Once Beca realized she was in her apartment, she didn’t even know how she’d gotten there. But she still couldn’t think of anything else other than Chloe. About her regret. About all the words she wished she would’ve said five years ago. About how it was too late now.</p><p>With a simple kick, she removed her heels swiftly and dropped down to the floor. Reaching for the sheet of paper with song lyrics, it only then dawned on her that more than half of these songs were about Chloe. Hidden messages about how she wants something that’s now out of reach. About regret. About loss. About wanting a future that’s no longer hers to take. Hers to keep.</p><p>Her panic subsided finally. In its place, a deep sadness settled into every one of her bones until she felt heavy. She wanted to call Chloe. To tell her how she really felt. But that would be selfish. How could she try to come between Chloe and her happiness after all these years? Why hadn’t she just been brave enough to say it back?</p><p>Instead, Beca reached for a pen. She flipped the paper over and began to scribble down everything she wished she could tell her now.</p><p>
  <em>Chloe,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I never really was the type of girl who made friends easily. My first day at Barden University, I showed up with the intention of keeping to myself and working until I could move to LA and produce music. But that all changed the moment you laid eyes on me for the first time. I may have put up a tough front. I mean, it’s what I do best, right? Pretend like I don’t care about anything so that I don’t ever have to worry about getting hurt. But you were... persistent. I mean, how many people can say they met their best friend by singing Titanium together in the shower, naked? I’m willing to bet it’s probably not a ton. You were a constant, right from the start. All of the Bellas were. But this isn’t about them, it’s about us.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>All those years ago, although it only feels like a few weeks for me, you kissed me. From the moment you leaned in, I knew it was what I wanted. But, instead, I ran. Like I said: tough front and all. I thought if I kissed you back, it would mean everything between us—all the lingering glances and the tension I had felt—it was real and not just happening in my imagination. But something was scarier than my feelings for you: the idea that maybe you just had too much to drink and opened up to me because you were drunk and wanted attention. And that would’ve devastated me. So I ran away from my problems because it was easier.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But now, here I am. Stuck in a world that doesn’t even feel like my own. I never wanted to be a performer. I never wanted to write my own music. I love singing with the Bellas, but it’s making someone else’s words come to life that I care about. And on top of that, I have dozens of lyrics piling up that only serve as a reminder of how badly I fucked up. I’m in a beautiful apartment with the most incredible view, but surrounded by photographs of people who aren’t you. Friends who never could support me the way you always have. There’s a reason why I feel a sense of calmness around you that I can’t seem to find anywhere else.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>All I want is to go back. To wake up and realize this wasn’t all for nothing. To wake up and be back in a tent, surrounded by you and all my other awesome nerds who I’d never admit out loud are my family. To wake up and exist in a place where you’re not engaged to someone who isn’t me. To wake up and tell you that I love you, too.</em>
</p><p>She looked down at the words she’d written, not even realizing the tear that was trailing down her cheek until it dropped and turned into a small blemish of smeared ink.</p><p>All she wanted to do was to rush back out. To find Chloe. To tell her everything that she finally had realized and admitted to herself. But Chloe was with her fiancé and didn’t need Beca anymore. Maybe the five years she’d missed were a way to help her cope. To help Beca move on and not hold Chloe back.</p><p>“No,” Beca whispered to the empty room. “No, I refuse to believe I’m stuck in this hell for any real reason.”</p><p>It wasn’t until she felt a shooting pain in her calf that she realized her leg had fallen asleep from being crouched on the floor writing the letter. Beca winced as she stumbled to her feet and reached for her phone.</p><p>She didn’t care that she was still in the same clothes she’d been wearing all night, nor did she care that her makeup was smudged and mascara had run down her cheeks. She dropped down onto her bed and kicked her legs out in front of her this time.</p><p>It was unfair to send this to Chloe, she knew that. But wasn’t it also unfair to keep the truth from her?</p><p>As Beca contemplated what was right, she tapped on her Photos app. Quickly, she clicked on the album that her iPhone managed to create for her – one with all the pictures that contained Chloe’s face. She didn’t know how much time she had spent sitting on her bed just smiling down at her phone, but a stillness fell over the apartment.</p><p>It was late, she hadn’t eaten in hours, and she refused to get up to even change for bed. Instead, Beca fell backward with her hand still clutching her phone. She wondered if she should drive to the camp. Maybe if she could find a way back to the exact spot where she’d fallen asleep that night, she could pass out and wake up there again – five years prior.</p><p>“Ugh, you’re being ridiculous.”</p><p>As if she didn’t feel pathetic enough, the pep talks to herself certainly weren’t helping.</p><p>With a groan, she kicked off the covers and tugged one single blanket up over her head.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Beca groaned at the impact of someone’s kneecap digging into the back of her thigh.</p>
<p>She blinked in the darkness and frowned when she realized the sun hadn’t been beaming into her apartment like she’d started getting used to. When she realized it must be the middle of the night, she forced her eyes shut again in her half-asleep state.</p>
<p>But then she heard a snore only a few feet away. She snapped upright, blinking again until her eyes acclimated to the darkness.</p>
<p>“Chloe?” Beca whispered, her voice sounding shaky until she realized where she was. “Ohmygod— Chloe!” She could hear the relief in her tone.</p>
<p>“Mm?” Chloe’s sleepy, soft voice made Beca’s insides warm and she watched as Chloe subconsciously inched closer to seek Beca out. Loose red curls sprawled out and Chloe’s arm reached out as if she were trying to drape it over Beca’s waist.</p>
<p>“Chloe,” Beca brought her voice down to a whisper again. “Chloe, wake up. I need to tell you something.”</p>
<p>“Some of us are trying to sleep around here,” Stacie called from the opposite end of the tent in a tone that was more sleepy than grumpy.</p>
<p>“Chloe,” Beca repeated. “Come with me.”</p>
<p>She watched as blue orbs blinked a few times and a hand came up to rub the sleep out of them.</p>
<p>“Beca?” She reached an arm up to stretch until she realized the proximity of other bodies surrounding her. “What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>“I need to tell you something I should have said earlier.”</p>
<p>Chloe reluctantly followed Beca outside of the tent. She peered up, smiling at the stars peering down on them and then looked to Beca.</p>
<p>“If this is about our fight earlier,” Chloe frowned as she began. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called you out like that in front of—”</p>
<p>“I love you.” There wasn’t any hesitation behind Beca’s words, and it felt like a shock to both of them. Beca was used to being blunt, but not like this.</p>
<p>Chloe blinked only once and took a step closer, her lips slightly parted.</p>
<p>“You– you what?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know if you remember exactly what you said to me when you were drunk that night,” Beca began. “But you kind of said you might love me.”</p>
<p>Chloe laughed softly and Beca felt her heart race. Was this the moment where Chloe told her that she was just drunk and rambling and didn’t mean it?</p>
<p>“Beca, it was only a week ago. And do you really think I could’ve forgotten what I said to you?” She took a step closer and Beca stammered to try and find her words.</p>
<p>“Oh, um. Right. A week. Well, you– you drank a lot. Maybe you regretted what—”</p>
<p>“I didn’t.” She shook her head once. “I meant it.”</p>
<p>Beca averted her gaze for a moment, wishing she could say all the things she had scribbled down for Chloe to read.</p>
<p>But that’s when she realized it. Those words she wrote, they were for herself. They helped her recognize what she always knew, deep down. It’s what got her back here.</p>
<p>It didn’t matter that Chloe would never read the letter. All that mattered was that she was here, now, listening to what Beca had to say. It wasn’t too late.</p>
<p>“I don’t know if I just had the craziest dream of my life or if it was all real somehow. But all I know is that I can’t spend another minute pretending that my feelings for you haven’t been there all along.” Once Beca’s honest words started flowing, so did Chloe’s tears.</p>
<p>Chloe remained silent, a soft smile sweeping over her face as her eyes gleamed from the tears.</p>
<p>“I know I’ve never been very good at the whole feelings thing, but–” she swallowed and closed the distance between them. Reaching up to cup Chloe’s cheek, she wiped a stray tear. “–I don’t want a future where you’re not mine to keep.”</p>
<p>When their lips collided, Beca wasn’t sure if she had initiated it or if Chloe had fallen into her. But neither of them had any intention of pulling away this time.</p>
<p>“Well it’s about damn time,” Cynthia Rose called from inside the tent and Beca laughed against Chloe’s mouth.</p>
<p>“They have a point, you know?” Chloe mumbled with their mouths still hovering inches apart.</p>
<p>“I know, I’m the worst.” Beca laughed and kissed her again. “But you love me.”</p>
<p>“I do, and you love me.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed my first Bechloe fic! Find me on Twitter @courtneyhope_ or Tumblr @courtneywoods!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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